Miss Purdy continues
A 42-year-old truck driver from Kansas City, MO said dinner conversation is important to
men as well. He said some of his past experiences included women who talked with their
mouth full or just didnt have anything interesting to say. He said simple compliments are
the best conversation starters.
She should say something like, 'nice tie, where'd you get that from?' I'd respond, "I got
the tie from Bangladesh when I traveled there for my company last year. They served the
strangest mixture of Indian and American food... You know something casual and light."
Travel conversation can go on all evening, he said.
Another woman, 38, who is a construction worker by day and a stripper by night, agreed
that dinner conversation should be interesting enough to draw her eyes to her date's face
while he's talking. She's been living in Seattle, WA, for the past five years and said she
thinks she has finally found an affective way to side step the fakes. She said if the man
was a bore during dinner he would be boring in other areas of his life as well. She equated
a bad date to a two-day beer hangover.
"While dining, will should discuss our whereabouts and what we do with our days. I'd
like to know by the end of the date if he lays up and beats his meat all day or has a
meaningful position in life. This is important because I want to make sure I don't end up
with a dud. I want a man who likes to go out and enjoy himself and is not a stick in the
mud," she said as she shifted her hard hat and wiped sweat from her forehead.
"Don't take me through the hood on the way to the restaurant, she continued. I think
that's just bad judgment on his part. And don't scratch your balls or dig in your butt in
front of me. And don't pick me up smelling like a greasy spoon" she said.
This is advice well taken for both men and women. Its important to have the atmosphere
of ones home pleasant and inviting when your date arrives.
A 38-year-old man from Illinois, after being queried about likes and dislikes of women he
had dated, once said to me, "When I go to a woman's house to pick her up, I dont want to come out of there
smelling like fried chicken. I also don't want a woman getting into my car smelling like a
mixture of purfume and old cooking oil," he said. This man, who is a partner in a huge
accounting firm located in downtown Chicago, said he likes to skydive in his spare time.
He said that he was surprised to have met so many successful women in the city who
didn't adhere to this simple rule.
Another man, 24, who is a pharmaceutical salesman also located in Chicago, commented
on the attire of some of his past dates.
"If you got on something tight, like an alley whore, I don't want to see the imprint of the
panties. And please do not refer to your sanitary apparel as Kotex or tell me when you
have to go change it." Outspoken on the importance of his date's lady-like appearance,
he added how a woman enters and exits his car is just as important as how she conducts
herself at the restaurant. "I dont want my woman stretching her legs open to get in or out
of the car. Thats really unattractive, he said.
Also, don't excuse yourself from the dinner table by saying 'I got to pee.' Oh yeah, don't
adjust your bra in public and please dont dig in your breasts for anything--even if they are
itching."
One woman, 32, from Attica, IN said, "Try not to keep running to the bathroom all night.
Your date might question why and you might not want to have to explain."
She went on to describe her last date fiasco.
"First, I'm mad as hell all evening because I went to K-mart, again, to get a bra. The wire
is digging into my side all through the date and I'm so uncomfortable. So Im digging and
digging and squirming for an hour into the date until finally, I have to excuse myself to
the ladies room to fix the darn thing. I was so embarrassed," she said.
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Miss Purdy's Advice for First Dates
Most people I talk to complain about not meeting the right person to date or that the
person they choose always seems to be moronic. Well enough of this kind of talk.
Ask yourself these questions: Why am I always at the club but never seem to meet my
match or why I dont like to go to the club anymore?
Well, its time to leave the club when after dancing, your knees ache and your back goes
out. But you may want to schedule a night out on the town if you've begun to notice the
only thing that goes out regularly is your back.
I do like to date and a first date is meant to be a memorable moment spent between a man
and woman who are intrigued by each other. But many things can go wrong before the
intrigue and after the final good-night. How two people connect is left entirely up to fate
and the two people.
A 33-year-old taxi cab dispatcher from Philadelphia, PA said, "The perfect date is one
where the man is on time and has a nice car. I don't like can cutters. And dont take me to
any strip joints --I dont like to watch women dance naked atop a bar." This woman said
first impressions are very important to her and she sums up whether or not she will see a
man again based on her first thoughts about him. We were in a piano bar when she told
me what turns her off. Glancing at the two gentlemen seated to directly behind us, she
said, "clothes do make the man." The gentlemen were dressed in well-tailored suits.
A nice, well-dressed man-- not one with his butt hanging out of his jeans and his drawers
showing-- none of that-- should arrive on time in his own vehicle. That means do not pick
me up in your woman's car or your momma's ride-- have your own car with your name on
the title, she said as she swirled the melting ice around in her two fingers of vodka.
"I would be dressed in black leather pants, a three-quarter length blazer and a leopard
print blouse, button down, of course. I have these items in my closet, you know. I
wouldnt wear anything too tight on the first date because I wouldnt want to seem
forward but if I do think I may want to get down with my date, I might go without
underwear," she giggled as she sat her empty glass down on the bar.
"I want a brother that's tall, a brown skinned honey, goatee or a full
beard.
I find that attractive on a man and I do like something to focus my stare on all evening--
besides his big, firm buttocks," she said.
She also said that dinner conversation is the tell-all for how the evening would end.
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Now, about the silent release of intestinal gasses.
Many people I have encountered have very strong feelings one way or the other about
how to handle this disastrous occurrence.
Imagine this scenario: You've been eating gas producing food all day. You shouldn't
have eaten the bean burrito and vanilla milkshake for lunch and you know it. Your
stomach is so bloated that you change out of the sexy black thong you had planned to
wear and instead put a pair of bloomers. Its 5:30 p.m. and your date arrives at 6:00 p.m..
What do you do?
"A 25-year-old mental health specialist from Chicago, IL said, "The best idea is to not eat
gas-producing foods but instead have a nice decaf tea and keep some extra-strength
Mylanta in your purse. If your date realizes you're in the bathroom too long, he will know
you're in there having a bowel movement and he's likely to visualize you throughout the
date with your legs gapped open, straddling the toilet, pushing it out, she said. (We
wouldn't want that, now would we?)
She also said it is a good idea to wash your new underwear the day before the date just
to break in the new drawers, so they are not riding up. she said.
"If no one smelled the silent one you let loose while getting up to check you powder,
chances are it wont be held against you," she said.
She later added that it is a good idea to drive your own car to the date or to meet him
there.
Tackling the question of what is appropriate to eat on a first date found varying responses
from both men and women.
Some say keep it light, some say get all you can but don't order a rack of lamb or a side
of beef and expect your date not to frown when you ask for a doggie bag. Also be careful
not to put on airs as if you eat like a bird and you actually weigh 325 pounds, according
to a 23-year-old doorman from Tampa, FL who told me he likes woman who have a thick
waistline and a huge butt.
A 22-year-old gang-tactical sergeant from Michigan City, IN warned against drug usage
while on the date because it can lead to a disastrous end. He suggested, not using drugs in the restaurant bathroom while on the date. Wait until you get home because he
may want some too. He laughed when he said that but added his own personal date
disaster. A woman he arrested during a prostitution sting operation earlier that evening was later
released from jail that same night. The officer said he thought she was cute so he asked
her out. They ended up at a local diner near closing time eating day-old cake, when the
manager approached and asked him if he would be ordering more food. Noticing his date
had slipped away to the bathroom a half hour ago, he knocked on the bathroom door but
got no response. When he opened it, he found her using drugs with the a patron. He said she later apologized but he never called her back for a second date.
First date meals are what will indicate to your date how well the two of you will get
along--at least for the rest of the evening. Most people suggested starting out first date
meals with soup or a salad.
Women should order for themselves on the first date, according to a 30-year-old
executive secretary living in Dallas, TX. "Don't worry about how much of the meal you
should eat off of your plate," she said. "Eat until full, but to be safe, have a light snack
before going on your date so youre not licking the plate after the meal is served," she
said.
During the meal, some daters may want to express themselves throughout the art of body
language. A 33-year-old computer analyst from Detroit, Michigan said unwanted
advances should be handled immediately and appropriately.
Change your facial expression and drop the base in your voice if he accidentally brushes
against your breast and butt while maneuvering your chair at the dinner table. Take an
umbrella with you, just in case, she said.
If he touches your knee underneath the table--with his knee of course-- allow it, if you
feel it is appropriate for the evening. If you don't want to end up flat on your back inside
a road side motel for a nightcap, move your knee or change your whole body position,
she said.
When asked, most people found the drop-off the most nerve wracking moment of the
evening. Anxieties ranged from to kiss or not to kiss to wondering if it's appropriate to
invite your date out again.
A 42-year-old health care administrator from Atlanta, GA said its best to trust your gut
instinct and play it by ear.
"So he planned to retire you both to a bar at a posh, hotel for a nightcap of
whiskey and coffee. You can shake his hand and compliment him on the good evening.
You may not want to get to close to his lips because you dont know where they have
been. If you do want to see him again, then you may kiss him on the cheek. Remember to
keep all body fluids to yourself, she said. If you do decide to share a deep embrace,
don't allow your date to go too far, even with your clothes on, "she warned. "Especially if
you have a common entry way."
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